One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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