they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
How's work?
Spinning.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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