I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
