i was born a porn star she said
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
