I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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