I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
