I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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