16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize