cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
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Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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