what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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