No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
