I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
