I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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