Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
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