Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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