I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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