I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
