I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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