I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something