I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just pee around me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize