I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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