If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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