Swine flu. Run for my life!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
