I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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