Yo dont text me then not text me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
