i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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