Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
