mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize