ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
