When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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