we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
