I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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