your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You smell like stripper and shame
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize