my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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