make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
