Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
