If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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