Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
