HIV tests are more positive than that guy
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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