i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
third nipple confirmed
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
