his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
