Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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