I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
