By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
