I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
