Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
