tonight lets celebrate not being married
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
