Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize