Buhtt sex?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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