so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
