So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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