If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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