bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
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We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
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Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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