i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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