If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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