I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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