I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
